Obesity surgery

My husband and I were both unhealthy obese
messes. Thinking of our lives before the surgery makes me
cringe. I had gained 175 pounds after the tragic loss of
a child. I met Jim at my heaviest, most depressed,
and unappiest time. I was so fat I <br>would never go
do the things I loved. I just watched TV all day,
aside from my part <br>time job which was inactive. He
could eat 2 large pizzas a day, and sat at his computer
every waking moment. We never did anything, went
anywhere, or had anyone over. It was fine for me, because I
was too fat and depressed to leave the house
anyway.<br> Jim and I decided to do this together. We talked
about how we would commit to a new lifestyle, and how
wonderful things would be. We discussed this indebth for
several months before getting evaluated. We were hopeful

and I dreamed of how wonderful life could be again.
It brought us closer just dreaming together.<br> Jim
and I have both had the surgery and are well
recovered. Ive lost my 100 pounds and Jim is just behind me
a few pounds. I have gone back to University full
time, go to the gym every morning, eat only "HEALTHY"
choices, keep a cleaner <br>house, am no longer depressed
and have sought counsiling for my loss 5 years ago. I
feel like Im on CLOUD 9. I love my new life, the way I
feel about myself, my future, and for the first time I
can say I have a true shot at achieving my goals in
life. Nothing can stop me, not even my recent setback
with my father dying 9 days ago. It set me back, but
Im back up and running and feeling good now.<br> On
the other hand there is Jim. Hes lost his weight
despite the fact that he sits and <br>munches on chips
and candy all day. He drinks 6 sodas a day. He says
he feels better because he’s thinner now and his
back doesn’t hurt anymore. Aside from that the surgery
hasnt impacted his life whatsoever. He’s content to eat
crap all day and sit in front of his computer. He even
decided that he didnt care about the "reward" trip to
Europe we had planned for this winter once weve reached
our goal. He suggested that I go alone to reward
myself, since there was no sence in spending the money
when he didnt really care about it. In counciling he
stated that he truly has no <br>desire to change his
life. Hes just glad his back doesnt hurt anymore.<br>
Tell me ladies….. how can I not be selfish and think
of myself? I cannot go back <br>to the way things
were. Im actually happy for once. Before surgery, he
talked about school, moving to a new city in England,
buying 4 wheelers and jet skiis, seeing the planet, and
someday maybe adopting a child. Now he admittedly only
wants me to quit nagging him so he can finish his
movie. Am I wrong to simply wish I could just <br>live
my life without catering to his lifestlye? I dont
want to leave him behind, but he doesnt want to pursue
the new life we promised each other. <br> On the
other hand, I made a commitment, and leaving him would
crush him. I do love him, but just dont know what to
do. He also admitted to me that he liked having a fat
wife, because it made it ok for him to be fat too. Hes
not happy that Im thinning down and enjoying life. he
wants his old wife back.<br> Any words of wisdom? Ive
tried everything to motivate him. The simple truth is
he is where he wants to be, and has no desire to do
anything else. Even though he knows it effecting our
marriage. I want an active healthy man, he wants a fat
depressed wife. Neither of us seem to
budge.<br><br>Michelle

This entry was posted on Saturday, December 6th, 2003 at 10:51 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.