I feel like I’m going to die!

On September 6th (23 days ago) I had the Roux en
Y gastric bypass surgery — it went wonderful — 2
days in the hospital feeling great — 7 days after
surgery I went home not feeling as great but getting by
– 11 days after surgery and my incision gets
infected — an evening in the ER and I go home with the
nastiest tasting liquid antibiotic I have ever tasted not
1 bottle but 2 — a few days go by I still feel
horrible — weak, depressed, nauseous, headache — surgeon
says go get a blood test — I go — kidney results
look odd — go for another blood test — now kidneys
are ok but potassium is too low — so I get another
even nastier tasting solution to choke down — here I
am now still not feeling well — but a whopping 34
lbs lighter — surgeon says I feel bad because my fat

is metabolizing and releasing toxins in my system –
<br><br>I spent three years fighting for this surgery –
tons of doctor appointments — tons of phone time with
my insurance company — I wanted to be able to grow
old — healthy and thin — and all I can do is sit
here and wish I hadn’t done this to myself –
<br><br>I have a master’s degree in psychology and the
laugh of that is I specialized in addictive behaviors
– many times over the years I remember thinking if
only I could quite eating –smokers quit smoking –
drug users can quit drugs — but eaters can’t quit
eating — now I have a tool that allows me to do just
that — well relatively speaking — and the coming
down off food is worse than I could have ever imagined
– actually I never did imagine — I’m dreaming of
food — talking about food incessantly — crying about
food — I want a cheeseburger so bad I could just die
– you never realize its everywhere –fast food–
until you can’t ever have it again — I would have
never believed I was so addicted and withdrawal would
be so bad –<br><br>And what’s making this even
worse is noone I know who has had this surgery can
relate to any of this — I feel so alone — abnormal –
everything I can read on the internet makes this surgery
sound so easy and wonderful –<br><br>Is there anyone
out there who can relate to me or am I truly alone in
this? I can’t believe I’m the only food junkie to ever
have this surgery.

5 Responses to “I feel like I’m going to die!”

  1. Neva Marjory Says:

    i know how you feel one. one way i am a food
    adict but unlike you i have not had my surgery get i am
    down on the waiting list for gastric banding they
    don’t give me a choice for the operation as i have a
    hernia that they won’t repair intill i loose 158 pounds.
    i hope this may make you feel a little better
    please post and tell us how you feel i hope you will
    feel better soon

  2. Neva Marjory Says:

    Dear Deborah, I’m sorry you’ve had such a bad
    time. I don’t blame you for feeling so bad. I had my
    surgery on May 26th 2000. I didn’t do so well in the
    hospital and my roommate died from complications from the
    surgery, so I know what you are saying. I remember
    thinking, what have I done to myself!!! I really was scared
    and thinking why did I do this. The first 4 weeks
    were really hard because of the pain, missing food,
    and just adjusting, but then slowly everyday I got to
    feeling better. I didn’t feel deprived anymore but
    excited because for the first time in my life I had
    control over my eating. I’ve been lucky because I haven’t
    craved(to often) sugar and as the weight has came off I’ve
    been too excited about it to morn the loss of food.
    The last couple weeks have been rough because I’m at

    a stand still and no matter what execise or eating
    I do I’m stuck. Everyone says this is normal and
    will pass. I’ve lost 75 lbs. and gone from size 24 to
    14. The great part is I feel so good. I’ve got energy
    and love life again. It will get better I promise, I
    was so depressd the first few weeks too. E-mail me if
    I can help. I remember after the surgery I thought
    I would not be one of those that said I would do it
    again, but yes now I would. Good luck, Barbie

  3. Kathy Lucrecia Says:

    Dear Deborah,<br>I am veery sorry about all the
    complications you are having… but I do know how you feel. I
    had an uneventful time in the hospital… just the
    normal feelings after surgery… but THEN I got a back
    stomach bug… so with all those stiches etc I was
    vomiting anything and everything! I was in so much pain
    and felt like "what the hell did I do" But eventually
    it has all passed… I have had met very few people
    thta everything was wonderful from the get go… most
    people I know have had 2 months for their bodies to
    adjust and then they start feeling human again. Which
    was the case with me… and now I feel great! I had
    my surgery 8/2/99 and started as a 28 (most likely
    more!) and am now a 12… I have lost 135 pounds and am
    a nice looking 163lbs and overall am very happy

    with the results and the health that has been returned
    to me. I hope all gets better for you, I will
    certinly keep you in my prayers!<br>Cindy

  4. Neva Marjory Says:

    Shirley, My roommate was over 450 lbs. and had
    had a hip replacement. She was scared to get up and
    walk. They tried for 3 days to get her up but she
    refused. Pnemonia set in and she passed away from
    complications from it. It was very sad. I know of others larger
    than her that did just fine, but she refused to walk
    and that is so important after the urgery. They said
    she was able to walk into the hospital before the
    surgery. It really broke my heart for her and also scared
    me. I was depressed until I realized that her case
    really was an exception. Her dr. took it very hard it
    was his first rny patient to lose. Good luck as you
    make your decision. I would definetely do it again but
    I wasn’t so sure for the first 6 weeks. Love,
    Barbie

  5. Neva Marjory Says:

    Hi barbie,<br><br>Thanks very much for your
    reply….makes me feel more confident…so sorry for your friend
    though..guess we really need to listen to the doctors carefully
    when undergoing this or any type of surgery….thanks
    again… shirley

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