Comments on: What Should I Do???

By: Candy Justina

Candy Justina — Mon, 23 Oct 2006 00:12:03 +0000

Another thought on this.

A number of post-ops I know take milk thistle, which they swear has
brought their liver enzymes back into range.

Pam

By: Danielle Mickie

Danielle Mickie — Sat, 21 Oct 2006 16:49:15 +0000

Hi Tiffany!

Your story is so heart breaking. You are in a bad place and need to find a way
to remedy it. Whether you go stay with your mother, or get some family
intervention. Going from 550 to 200 pounds is a huge success. Is there anyway
someone from your surgeon’s office who can sit down with your family to tell
them that you are a success? Are you seeing someone for psychological support?

This is very important post-opertatively for 2 reasons. 1 we no longer have
food as a crutch; and 2, as we lose weight, the issues that caused us to eat and
gain weight surface and we are forced to deal with them. I call this the onion
syndrome. As we peel off layers of weight, we face layers of phobias/problems.

You definitely need to change the atmosphere you are living in, but you cannot
do this alone. We are here to support you as best as we can, but you need to

get support where you are as well. Good luck and keep us posted on how things
go for you. debi

By: Maryanne Serrano

Maryanne Serrano — Sat, 21 Oct 2006 00:10:06 +0000

Tiff:

I felt your anguish as I read your letter.

Your life is worth saving and living. Congratulations on your weight loss and
dedication to your program.

I would encourage you to seek support outside your family unit. You are not
alone. There are people who have had the same issues and have overcome them. I
would encourage you to seek support through 12 step programs like AlaNon as you
have a family member who is abusing alcohol. Also check to see if there is an
Overeater’s Anonymous group in your area. I belong to that fellowship and it has
given the strength to address the emotional, mental, physical and spiritual
aspects of the disease of compulsive overeating. There are on line chat room
geared towards folks that have depression.

I wish you only the best. Please write back and let me know how you are doing.

Peace, Love and Happiness Always,

Kitty

I had weight loss surgery in June 2002. The highest weight I’ve been
was 550 lbs. I had weight loss surgery @ 397 lbs. NOW…..I’m down
to 200 lbs!!! Which is EXCELLENT!!!!

I know during the time after my weight loss surgery, I’ve messed up
with my eating habits here and there. All my parents seem to do is
pay attention to the bad more than to the good. Every time I mess
up, they give me so much hell for it. They can’t seem to understand
how hard it is for me. Especially living with people who can eat all
the hell they want to. They watch me like a hawk too. They have
people all around my town watching my @ss, to make sure I’m not
screwing up. That’s soooo embarrassing! Now it seems I can’t go
anywhere in peace. I’m not even able to get fruit in my system.
They don’t even bother to buy fruit for me.

From all the weight loss and the hard effort I’ve put into it, they
can’t seem to at least be happy for that and how much I’ve
accomplished so far. It doesn’t seem to matter to them. I’m not
perfect D@mmit!!!

My stepmom is the one who can REALLY pi$$ me off many times. She
thinks she’s all perfect, who can do all the hell she wants, and is
better than everyone. She’s the one who’s mostly on my @$$ about my
weight. We were like the best of friends too. We fought over my
weight problem. She even got drunk over all the stress I’ve caused.

Now I feel so uncomfortable! I’d like to move back with my mom in
Canada. Her, and some other friends of mine up there seem to
understand what I’m going through. I know there’s people out here
who are like that, but I’m hardly able to get out as much as I’d like
to. This is so much like a lockup!!!

Anything I’m feeling, doesn’t seem to matter to anyone. It seems
they expect me to be SUPERWOMAN. Even if I might be in pain (both
mentally & physically), I don’t even bother to tell anyone. I’ve
suffered with headaches, dizzy spells, tiredness, and of course
depression. I don’t know what the hell to do???

I really need some help, and I’d like to know what’s the point of all
this mess??? What should I do???

Tiff

By: Violet Lynch

Violet Lynch — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 19:02:27 +0000

Tiff;
I have to agree with Pam…losing weight can and especially that much weight
your body may be having a inbalance of some sort. From my readings it is very
very common for people after weight loss surgery to go through a deep
depression. You need to find counseling and only you can do that for yourself.
You can find a local service that is on a sliding rule system that will charge
from 0.00 and up for counseling. Remember you have come this far it is your
responsiblity at age 24 to stop the madness and get some help. We aren’t able
to give you the support you need for that type of problem. I know that I would
love to keep hearing about your journey and to hear how you found a counslor.
So keep your chin up! You can do it!

I had weight loss surgery in June 2002. The highest weight I’ve been
was 550 lbs. I had weight loss surgery @ 397 lbs. NOW…..I’m down
to 200 lbs!!! Which is EXCELLENT!!!!

I know during the time after my weight loss surgery, I’ve messed up
with my eating habbits here and there. All my parents seem to do is
pay attention to the bad more than to the good. Every time I mess
up, they give me so much hell for it. They can’t seem to understand
how hard it is for me. Especially living with people who can eat all
the hell they want to. They watch me like a hawk too. They have
people all around my town watching my @ss, to make sure I’m not
screwing up. That’s soooo embarassing! Now it seems I can’t go
anywhere in peace. I’m not even able to get fruit in my system.
They don’t even bother to buy fruit for me.

I really need some help, and I’d like to know what’s the point of all
this mess??? What should I do???

Tiff

By: Candy Justina

Candy Justina — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 13:23:23 +0000

Get counseling, Tiffany, you need help making decisions that we
can’t help you with.

Good luck!

Pam in Niceville

_____

I’m at the point now where I really don’t know what’s the point of
me
living. I’m 23, almost 24. I’ve put my parents through so much
stress with my obesity problem and eating disorder. Now it’s at the
point where it seems I can’t even have a life. I’ve lost their
trust, so I’m unable to have my own money to spend or shop with. I

might as well put myself on wellfare. In a way, I feel like a poor
person.

I had weight loss surgery in June 2002. The highest weight I’ve been
was 550 lbs. I had weight loss surgery @ 397 lbs. NOW…..I’m down
to 200 lbs!!! Which is EXCELLENT!!!!

>From all the weight loss and the hard effort I’ve put into it, they
can’t seem to at least be happy for that and how much I’ve
accomplished so far. It doesn’t seem to matter to them. I’m not
perfect D@mmit!!!

I really need some help, and I’d like to know what’s the point of
all
this mess??? What should I do???

Tiff

_____

By: Neva Marjory

Neva Marjory — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 16:21:23 +0000

I’m at the point now where I really don’t know what’s the point of me
living. I’m 23, almost 24. I’ve put my parents through so much
stress with my obesity problem and eating disorder. Now it’s at the
point where it seems I can’t even have a life. I’ve lost their
trust, so I’m unable to have my own money to spend or shop with. I
might as well put myself on wellfare. In a way, I feel like a poor
person.

I had weight loss surgery in June 2002. The highest weight I’ve been
was 550 lbs. I had weight loss surgery @ 397 lbs. NOW…..I’m down
to 200 lbs!!! Which is EXCELLENT!!!!

I know during the time after my weight loss surgery, I’ve messed up
with my eating habbits here and there. All my parents seem to do is
pay attention to the bad more than to the good. Every time I mess

up, they give me so much hell for it. They can’t seem to understand
how hard it is for me. Especially living with people who can eat all
the hell they want to. They watch me like a hawk too. They have
people all around my town watching my @ss, to make sure I’m not
screwing up. That’s soooo embarassing! Now it seems I can’t go
anywhere in peace. I’m not even able to get fruit in my system.
They don’t even bother to buy fruit for me.

I really need some help, and I’d like to know what’s the point of all
this mess??? What should I do???

Tiff

By: aaron_1700

aaron_1700 — Thu, 20 Jul 2006 13:02:36 +0000

Tiffany,

First of all, congratulations on the weight loss since your surgery! You’ve
come a long way since 550 pounds and you should be very proud of yourself.

Second, I suggest that you see a counselor/psychiatrist regarding your eating
disorder and depression and substance abuse issue in your family. Dealing with
those three, very big, issues are nearly impossible to do alone. You need to
treat those issues like any other illness that would require "medical" attention
and go see a professional to "fix what’s ailing you" I speak from experience
here. Your eating disorder and depression, I’m guessing, probably stems from
other things that could have started/happened in childhood, etc.

Third, you need to realize that when someone who has a drinking problem or any
other substance abuse issue blames it on someone else (you)…they are DEAD

WRONG and in complete denial about their problem. It sounds like your family,
much like mine, manipulates with guilt. The best thing you can do for yourself
is realize that YOU are NOT their problem. For them to blame you for ANY of
their problems is a complete cop-out. As adults, we are all responsible for our
OWN behavior. If your step-mom has problems with alcohol and/or her sex life,
that’s HER PROBLEM and she’s the only person that can fix it - NOT YOU! Break
free from that house! Go back to Grandma’s.

I’ve been down this road, once you realize that you are the one person who
controls YOU, you can be free from that pain and guilt. Good luck to you and
feel free to type me anytime.

Jen in Naperville
Surgery date: 3/3/03
Starting weight: 259
Current weight: 167
Goal weight: 140-150

By: Jamey Lancaster

Jamey Lancaster — Wed, 19 Jul 2006 23:21:16 +0000

Tiffany, are you in therapy? You’ve got major issues here, and your family
has them also - they’re not making your life any easier, and their behaviors
are not going to contribute to your getting "well" - so they need to get in
there with you in family therapy. Are you currently medicated for your
depression? Some depression meds make you more hungry, some less. You
should work with your doc to discover if your med is working for you.

Right now, your thinking processes, your family’s abusive, controlling
behaviors and potentially your reaction to meds are all major problems for
you, and we can’t help in those areas.

Hi Everyone! My name is Tiffany and I’m 23 years old. Some of you,
have probably read some of my previous posts in here. I’ve been
obese throughout most of my life. I’ve had a terrible eating
disorder (I still do, till this very day).

The highest weight I’ve been was 550 lbs. I’ve been a compulsive
overeater, and would always have an urge to eat. It seems I was
always hungry.

I also have depression, and I don’t have much of a social life. I’m
home mostly every day. My eating disorder has caused a lot of stress
in the family. I’ve lost my parents’ trust, to where I can’t really
do anything without being supervised 24/7. So, I can’t work or go to
school. They even admitted to me they can’t even enjoy their love
life because of all the stress I’ve caused.

To make a long story short, I had the Roux-NY Gastric Bypass Weight
Loss Surgery June 2002 @ 397 lbs. The surgery is known to make you
less hungry, and the stomach can hold little amounts of food. Before
I had the surgery, as hard as it was, I stuck to a diet and exercise
plan my parents had me on. It was hard as hell too. At 550 lbs., I
was hardly able to walk, move around, go anywhere, or even enjoy life.

I’ve done great with the surgery! I’m now down to 219 lbs. Most of
my wardrobe is getting too big for me. I’m able to do the things I
haven’t done in such a long time: dancing, jogging, swimming, and
being more active than I’ve EVER been! Before, I was just a lazy
bum. I used to hate exercising!

The only problem now is that I’m still struggling with my eating
disorder. Even though I had weight loss surgery, it seems I can’t
stop eating. My eating disorder has stressed my family out so much,
and even put me in danger. They’re at the point now where they don’t
trust me anymore.

My stepmom and I were the best of friends. We’d hang out, enjoy each
other, etc. Then. we actually fought over my eating disorder. After
a long period of sobriety, my stepmom even went back to alcohol at
one point, because of all the stress I’ve caused from the
embarassment and my eating disorder.

My stepmom even somewhat called me a "pig". She can’t seem to
understand how hard it is for me. I mean, I wish I didn’t have this
eating disorder, but I just can’t stop eating. The progress I’m
making with my weight loss, can’t seem to satisfy her. Me even
jogging doesn’t even seem to satisfy her. Also, she thinks I’ve
gained weight.

And I live with my stepmom and dad, who can eat all the hell they
want to. As if it didn’t bother me at all one bit, Bull $!&%!
Whenever I cheat and slip here and there, all I get is $@#% for it.
They can’t see how hard it is for me! They just expect so much from
me, and think I don’t do anything. Well, I don’t work or go to
school. I’m home most of the time, but I do my daily exercises and
chores.

So far, from the weight loss surgery I’ve had, I’ve lost over 100
lbs. ONE WHOLE PERSON! Not even that, can satisfy my parents. All
they do is give me hell whenever I mess up. I’m not perfect d@mmit!!!

For a while, I was at the point where I just needed a break from
home, because I started feeling bad vibes at my own home. I stayed
at my grandma’s, and it was like a nice vacation. I was almost in
HEVAN! I was able to relax, even go to the beach. I do admit, I
even cheated a lil’ here and there. I didn’t have anyone on my @$$
all the time though.

Any advice on what I should do???

Thanks!

Tiff

By: Allan Arlena

Allan Arlena — Wed, 19 Jul 2006 03:34:01 +0000

Tiff,

If you can not control yourself and you feel you have an eating disorder, I
highly recommend you go and see a psychologist about it. I would also make your
family come to the psych. with you. Then it will shed some light on them that
you really have a problem and it is not just an excuse (as I know they feel it
is).

Theresa

The highest weight I’ve been was 550 lbs. I’ve been a compulsive
overeater, and would always have an urge to eat. It seems I was
always hungry.

I also have depression, and I don’t have much of a social life. I’m

home mostly every day. My eating disorder has caused a lot of stress
in the family. I’ve lost my parents’ trust, to where I can’t really
do anything without being supervised 24/7. So, I can’t work or go to
school. They even admitted to me they can’t even enjoy their love
life because of all the stress I’ve caused.

Any advice on what I should do???

Thanks!

Tiff

By: margarete_13

margarete_13 — Tue, 18 Jul 2006 21:01:40 +0000

Tiff,

wow that is quite a story. i am proud of you as well and sympathize with
you. I don’t know if i even know what i would do. maybe a support group, or
counselor can help, or nutritionist type thing. maybe moving out on your own
would help. try finding an ad in a paper where you can be a roommate and pay
way
less and get an easy job to start out with.

good luck, congrats on the loss that you have acheived. I have just started
trying to deal with my eating and today i am a failure but i know that i can
start over tomorrow with a clean slate. tell them to get off your back. you
have acheived alot and you are trying…..they can’t know what it is like to be
you.

we are always here to talk…i have instant messenger….i am on alot anytime
you need to talk. i live by sac, ca, how about you?

talk to me anytime!

beth