just a question
I have been just reading the posts, my name is Julie and i am hoping to have
the surgery sometime soon.
my question is on family support in this process, my mom is behind me all the
way, my sister however isn’t. she thinks if i would just diet the way "normal"
people do and really try, that i could do it. I’ve been there, done that and
more. The thing is that she has always been smaller than me, she now is having
problems with her weight. If i have this surgery i could stand a chance to
actually be smaller than her for the first time in our lives.
can any of you identify with this problem of mine?
as always,
Julie
February 3rd, 2007 at 1:33 pm
Hi Julie,
I am Karina, I’m from the Netherlands, and ytes I can identify with your
problem. My brothers and sissters also think that loosing weight is somthing
you normal you just do, that its easy, but I also now that its not easy at
all. I had obesity surgery a little over 7 years ago. My mother also
supported me completly, but most of my brothers and sisters had somthing
like if you just keep dieting you wil loose the weight also, they al thought
that it wasnt good to get surgery on a in there mind healty body, but they
didnt understand that my body wasnt healty with all that weight. But when
they saw after my surgery how match benefit I had from it, how match weight
I lost and how my personality changed in a positive way they changed their
minds about it. They are all very proud of me now, that I went treu whit it
even do they didnt think it was good for me. Family support is verry
important but even if your sister dasnt agree whit you, what you think thats
wright, thats the most important. Your mother is supporting you all the way
thats wonderfull, you will need her support.
Greetings Karina
——-Original Message——-
I have been just reading the posts, my name is Julie and i am hoping to
have the surgery sometime soon.
my question is on family support in this process, my mom is behind me all
the way, my sister however isn’t. she thinks if i would just diet the way
normal" people do and really try, that i could do it. I’ve been there, done
that and more. The thing is that she has always been smaller than me, she
now is having problems with her weight. If i have this surgery i could stand
a chance to actually be smaller than her for the first time in our lives.
can any of you identify with this problem of mine?
as always,
Julie
February 4th, 2007 at 1:45 am
I had very little family support. In fact after my surgery I had to go live
with a friend because my disabled mom and the foster kids wanted my constant
help and attention and I had a slow recovery since it was an open procedure
and my asthma acted up for a while. I had great support from church family
and work family. I am still encountering alot of problems with my mother who
I live with because now I am weighting less than her and she is becoming
more angry and depressed as I lose weight. I read in a weight loss surgery
magazine that is published every quarter that often certain relationships
will change. I had to look at what was best for my health. I had sleep
apnea resulting in two car wrecks where I fell asleep while driving, asthma,
high cholesterol, diabetes, and severe joint pain.
Most people now see it was a good decision and are very supportive and proud
of me. Often they fight you getting the surgery because they hear that your
could die, but any surgery you could die, and I was slowly dieing living
with so much weight. I think they fear it will not work for you. If just
dieting was going to work, it would have already. I suffered with obesity
since I was 17 over 25 years. I think you will encounter most people will
be supportive eventually. Do what is best for you and you are lucky having
some family support and there are always others (us) there to support your
decision too. Nice to meet you.
I have been just reading the posts, my name is Julie and i am hoping to
have the surgery sometime soon.
my question is on family support in this process, my mom is behind me all
the way, my sister however isn’t. she thinks if i would just diet the way
"normal" people do and really try, that i could do it. I’ve been there,
done that and more. The thing is that she has always been smaller than me,
she now is having problems with her weight. If i have this surgery i could
stand a chance to actually be smaller than her for the first time in our
lives.
can any of you identify with this problem of mine?
as always,
Julie
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February 4th, 2007 at 5:31 am
i understand how you feel. At first I didn’t want
anyone in my family know about the surgery for those
very reasons, but eventually everyone found out
anyways. Luckily for me it was so close to the
surgery that no one was able to convince me otherwise.
Some people particularly family, derive their self
esteem to the fact that they may be a little over
weight but at least i’m not as big as…" So
naturally the idea that you may one day be smaller
than them will put them on edge. Now they have not to
compare themselves to too make them feel good. But be
positive, let your sister know that you do not need a
diet(temporary) you need something that will change
your life(permanent). You can also include her in the
process, she can help you with your excercise and your
dietary regimen. And then she may understand you are
not getting a quick fix, this takes work and effort
and you need all the support you can get.
Trina
February 4th, 2007 at 12:26 pm
Actually that is exactly what my mother said. She did not want to be the
"fat one".
i understand how you feel. At first I didn’t want
anyone in my family know about the surgery for those
very reasons, but eventually everyone found out
anyways. Luckily for me it was so close to the
surgery that no one was able to convince me otherwise.
Some people particularly family, derive their self
esteem to the fact that they may be a little over
weight but at least i’m not as big as…" So
naturally the idea that you may one day be smaller
than them will put them on edge. Now they have not to
compare themselves to too make them feel good. But be
positive, let your sister know that you do not need a
diet(temporary) you need something that will change
your life(permanent). You can also include her in the
process, she can help you with your excercise and your
dietary regimen. And then she may understand you are
not getting a quick fix, this takes work and effort
and you need all the support you can get.
Trina
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